Preparing for the birth of your first child can have you overflowing with emotions! You may be feeling anxious, excited, happy, scared, and apprehensive all at the same time (just to name a few). One thing that can help immensely is being as prepared as possible for your child’s birth. (I know, I know…wayyyy easier said than done.)
One of the biggest ways to feel more at ease is to have lots of support from loved ones. If you have a significant other who will be your birth partner, you can use the following tips to get them (as well as yourself) prepared for the BIG DAY! Doing these things alongside my husband has definitely made me feel more at ease about the idea of birthing a human from my body (eek!).
UPDATE: After my son’s birth, I can tell you that this preparation (along with the tools we had on hand) made a VERY positive impact on my birth experience. My husband also testified that he, too, felt very prepared.
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Watch the video below, or keep reading!
Attend Classes
Whether online or in person, I definitely recommend attending SOME TYPE of class with your birth partner.
My husband and I opted to take some online classes, which we did from the comfort of our own home. We took the Love Your Labour course, which was a course geared toward natural, drug-free childbirth. It was SUPER informative and in-depth and definitely helped me achieve my epidural-free birth. You can learn more about Love Your Labour here.
Related Post: How I Survived an Epidural-Free Induction
I loved taking an online class because while the lessons were still interactive, we were able to go at our own pace to stop and talk about each section as needed.
Liesel Teen from mommylabornurse.com also has a great birth class you can take from the comfort of your couch! This class is super informative and can be completed in as little as a day!
You can choose to take her course geared towards more natural birth here, or her other course if you’re thinking about going the epidural route here. (Don’t worry-both courses have information on going natural AND epidurals, so you can’t go wrong!) Enter code INNOVATIVEMOMMA at checkout for 10% off!
If you feel you need more hands-on support, you might want to consider an in-person class. These are often offered at hospitals and birthing centers.
There are also classes offered based on various birthing methods, if you are looking into something specific (i.e. hypnobirthing, Bradley Method, Lamaze, etc.). You can ask your doctor or midwife for recommendations or more information, as well as perform an online search for classes available in your area.
Take a class that is right for YOU. My husband and I chose courses that focused on drug free, natural childbirth, because that was a goal of mine.
However, just because you have your heart set on a particular birth plan does NOT mean this is how your birth will go. Be sure to educate yourself on other methods as well!
I’ve been looking up information on pain medications and c-sections. Although this is not in my “birth plan,” I am very aware that childbirth can be unpredictable and it is best to be educated on what may happen in different situations.
Communicate
Communication is a HUGE part of preparing for birth with your partner.
If this is your first birth, there is apprehension from both sides-you not knowing what you are about to experience your body go through and your birth partner not knowing what to expect and how to best support you during this time. Communication can help you convey your thoughts, hopes, and fears about labor, childbirth and even being a parent.
*Be open
It’s important to be open with your partner about what you are thinking and feeling. They need to know how to best support you and may do things that they think are helping, but really aren’t.
About a week before my mom went into labor with me, she had indigestion and my dad kept asking her over and over if she was okay. My dad was obviously just trying to be supportive, but my mom explained to him that he could NOT do this when she was in labor because it was going to drive her CRAZY! Her communicating this allowed my dad to understand that what my mom needed was for my dad to be there as a physical, yet QUIET support person.
*Fears
The thought of childbirth can be very scary. There are many fears first-time parents have about the actual birth and parenthood. Discuss these fears with your partner. Let them know what you are afraid of, so they can help alleviate these fears.
Don’t forget–Dads are scared, too! Just because they aren’t physically delivering the baby does not make them immune to fear during this process. Make sure you hear and discuss his concerns as well!
*Expectations and Support
You may have a plan for your birth, but like I said earlier, that doesn’t always go as expected. It is important for your partner to know what your hopes and expectations are for his behavior, as well as your birth.
Your birth partner is often your advocate that communicates what you want when you can’t do so effectively. Make sure you make your partner aware of your wishes.
What do you expect from your partner? Do you want them next to you at all times? Do you want them speaking positive words or affirmations to you, or do you want them silent? How about touching? Would you like them to be “hands-on” or standing further away watching from a bit of a distance?
Everyone wants different things. Make sure you let your partner know what you THINK you may want. It is very possible that you won’t know until you are in that situation-and that’s okay, too! Again, just make sure you are communicating this as much as possible.
*Other People in the Room
Do you want other people in the room while you’re laboring? How about while you’re giving birth? Keep in mind, there is usually a limit to how many people you may have in the room while giving birth (and you are usually limited to one person if you are having a c-section).
Make sure you let your partner know if there is anyone else you feel strongly about having in the room with you, when you want them in there, and what roles they are to take during the process. If you choose to have another person, besides your birth partner, it is important to discuss your expectations with them as well.
Daddy Doula Bag
Ah, the Daddy Doula Bag. No-this is not your partner’s bag for the hospital. This is your partner’s bag full of tools to help YOU during your labor!
We had a bunch of items packed for this bag that are geared toward a drug-free birth, but if you’re planning to use pain medication, you can definitely use these tools as well!
- Birth plan– if you choose to have a birth plan, make sure you have a few copies with you to give to the hospital or birthing staff.
- Essential oils– Essential Oils can have many benefits during labor, including pain relief, improved focus and the power to boost energy! Check out this post from thebump.com for more info!
- Labor Affirmation Cards-you want to surround your labor with nothing but POSITIVE THOUGHTS! I created these FREE birth affirmation cards to use during labor! Enter your email to get your free download!
- Handheld fan– because you are bound to get HOT doing all that work!
- Massage tools/tennis ball– these are great for your partner to use as counter pressure points on your lower back during labor.
- Gum– for you and your birth partner for all of that heavy breathing and up close and personal support!
- Earplugs for mom– for help with focus
- Vision Board/pictures– to help you focus and keep your eye on the prize!
- Portable speaker– if you choose to play music during labor. (Side note: my doctor was cracking up when Salt N’ Peppa’s “Push It” came on right after my son made his debut.)
- Kneeling pad– if you are planning on moving around in different positions at any point during your labor, pick up one of these to be able to kneel comfortably on the floor. (As a bonus, I also loved using this after giving birth for giving my son a bath!)
- Birthing ball and pump (if place of birth does not provide one, or you’d just like to have your own)
Learn Acupressure Points
Acupressure points are a great extra for your partner to learn about before you go into labor! These various points throughout the body offer a wide range of benefits, from pain relief to labor progression! Genevieve Howland from Mama Natural has a great article on different acupressure points for labor!
Learn About Timing Contractions
A great job to give your birth partner during labor is to have them time your contractions. You can tell how your labor is progressing by how far apart, consistent, and intense your contractions are. Your partner can use an app for this, or you can download my FREE contraction tracking chart here!
Share your favorite tip from this post, or if you have another one leave it in the comments below!
